My birthday was great. We went to Toronto to see the Dead Sea Scrolls, and I saw the Ten Commandments Scroll on its last day. On one of the scrolls, the scribe had left a word out, so he’d just gone in and written it above the line. I think that, for me, was one of the most moving things; it just made everything seem so much more accessible. I mean, who hasn’t done that?

On Monday I did my Criminology midterm, and I think I did well. On Tuesday I had my Biological Psychology presentation to do, as well as my Social Psychology midterm. I note this because on Monday, at about 8:00 PM, I came down with severe stomach sickness. I did not go to either the presentation or the midterm, and in fact did not leave my house for several days, and then it was only to get my doctor’s note. It turns out I have viral labyrinthitis, and it’s probably going to be sticking around for a while. I’m not as sick as I was, but I’m so, so tired all the time, and reading (which I kinda have to do for school) makes me sick. I would describe this thing as like being on a roller-coaster you can’t get off of. I’ve been taking motion-sickness medication, but it’s still not great.

I’ve been given the chance to do the presentation tomorrow, and then I’ll have a week to write a ten page paper on it. Yay. The midterm however I will not get to do. They’ll calculate my marks from my other marks, so I guess I’d better just kick ass at everything else in this course.

Tags: school
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Damien Rice - Delicate

Last year I started university. I had no friends there, and, with my social skills, I couldn’t reasonably expect to make any.

In place of any actual human attachment, I decided that I’d spend my time with a certain tree. It was lovely and huge. It reached out of a little courtyard and up so that its branches hung over the roof that I’d run across to get from class to class. It was so thick and tall that I thought the university had been built around it, and perhaps it was.

This summer it was cut down to make way for an organic farmers’ market.

That pretty much describes my year so far.

Tags: school
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Lily Allen - 22

So, I got hacked. Or, rather, I went out and gave away my information.

Stupid right?

I've been using a global password for a while. Not for everything, but for my facebook, and my email account, and most things that I'd paid for and thus assumed were legitimate. I managed to use it for ten years without a problem, so I thought I was keeping it pretty safe.

Yesterday, I signed up for an SPC card. You have to go out and buy the cards (though in my case, they were part of a special package at school) so I thought it was fair to assume that I could enter all my information without worrying about it. I signed up with my e-mail address, and used the password on spccard.ca / spccard.com that I also used with that e-mail address. It was also the address and password that I used for Facebook.

Minutes after that, my Facebook account started sending out spam messages. There was one about every hour. A friend eventually told me about it; (I actually brought the subject up; it likely would have gone unnoticed otherwise. Apparently it "didn't really sound like" me, I suppose because I don't usually tell everyone about how I've been losing a ton of weight on new diets that you can learn about by clicking a tinyurl, or gush over colon-cleanses – I'm really grateful to that friend though; I wouldn't have found out without her, and she's been very kind and has been checking Facebook to see if there are any new messages when I can't. [None so far!]) I rushed home to see what was going on. I changed all my passwords. It was fairly easy to reclaim Facebook, but they'd changed the password on my e-mail account, so I had to work to get into that.

I've certainly learned my lesson about using the same password for multiple things, but I'm really shocked that it was the Student Price Card that ended up screwing me over. I've done complete scans, and I have no viruses or spyware. I haven't used that e-mail and password for anything in quite a while, so I very much doubt that anything else could have been responsible for this, and the fact that the problems began just after I registered cement my suspicions.

I googled "SPC Card hacked" (and a bunch of things like that) and got no results, so this must be a rare problem. I'm not too surprised about that; you have to be pretty foolish for this to happen in the first place. Still, dude, I paid for that. When I make the effort to acquire things legally, through the proper channels, I expect that they'll not go out of their way to fuck with me. (EA Games aside, of course.)

I was really in a panic. I'm glad that I deal with panic by going into an "I've got to fix this!" mode rather than by crying or running around driven solely by terror. It's really disheartening though; it seems like everything related to school this year has opened up a box fullo' emo. Shit better start looking up soon.

Current Mood: crappy

I spent hours planning my schedule for this year. I began months early. I outlined the courses I would take not just for this year, but for all that follow. The week this year’s class times were announced, I organised everything. My schedule was optimal.

On the day that registration for my year opened, I stayed up all night. It began at midnight, and although I attempted to log in at five minute intervals, the server was too overloaded for me to get on until half an hour had passed. Even with this setback, I knew I was ahead. How many others would be neurotic enough to start registering the moment they could? Well, enough to shut the servers down, I guess, obviously… but still, they must have been as delayed as I was. I was one of the forerunners.

And yet… the most important course… full. The others I’d wanted… scattered. Some were full; those that weren’t were full on the times that I’d planned to take. All of my carefully laid plans had to be cast aside. I grasped at anything I could, but came up short. I have only four full credits, rather than the five I was aiming for, and my schedule is awkward, with painfully long gaps. I managed to get into Lifespan Development, Personality and Individual Differences, Perception, Fundamentals of Social Psychology, Introduction to Criminology, and Law and Societal Justice, which I wanted, as well as The Social Psychology of Social Issues which I was not planning on. The only other thing I could get into was Introduction to Brain and Behaviour, which is technically a neurobiology course, and not really my bag, baby – though it does look interesting, I’m afraid it may be a bit much for me.

I believe that the courses were filled by third years. They get to choose courses before we do, and some of them chose ours because when they had needed them, the third years of that time had filled them. I’d heard a lot of people from higher years in a variety of majors and departments complaining about it last year. It’s a problem with the system, but I’m not going to revolutionise it.

That’s fine. I’ve got enough courses to be a full time student and just enough to get the scholarship renewed. I’ll be taking the main course during the summer – that’s cool, because it keeps me from doing nothing but Warcraft (I hit 80, by the way) for four months like I did this year. It also means that I’ll have to spend an extra year in school, because one of the courses that I couldn’t get into is a prerequisite for another course, which is a prerequisite for another course and so on. I’m down with that actually. It’ll cost a lot more, but I’ll be able to take some interesting courses that I wouldn’t have had time for otherwise. Also, it’s another year in the warm embrace of Academia before I’m cast out into the cold wilderness of The Real World. Maybe “warm embrace” isn’t quite accurate, but it’s what I need to hear right now.

The main thing now, is that when I went to school to scout out my classrooms, I noticed that I have a class on one side of the school fifteen minutes after a course on the other side of the school. That’s fine; I can make it. I’ll buy running shoes, and a jet pack. It’s all good. Problems arised however when I noticed that I also have a class on one side of the school that is fifteen minutes apart from a class that is not simply on the other side of school, but also across a parking lot, a busy street with lights that I would have to walk down to, another parking lot, and in a plaza. I don’t think I can make that one, even with a jetpack.

I phoned the school, to see what to do about this, and what I’ll have to do is ask the professor for the class in which I have a seminar if I can transfer to another seminar. As it stands now, they’re all full. I can only comfort myself with the fact that I only took that specific seminar because it was the only one available, and I really needed the course so that I could get the tuition paid. The tuition is now paid, and the way it works is that if a student drops out, even if they drop out before school begins, they don’t get any money back. The cash game is done. So, if worst comes to worst, a replacement seminar can’t be found, and I have to drop one course, I won’t lose the part of the tuition that the scholarship paid for. I might not be able to renew it, but we’ll deal with that when it comes to that. In such a case, I would have to drop either Brain and Behaviour, or Criminology. The former looks fascinating and would probably be very useful, but the latter is better as far as moving ahead with courses is concerned. Of course, if I get really torn about it, that extra year raises its head.

I guess the best thing to do at this point is to just go with the flow. The bookstore doesn’t even have the neurobiology textbook in yet. I’ll attend all the lectures for the first week, and I’m sure whatever happens will be for the best.

Tags: school
Current Location: the moon
Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: Garbage - Deadwood

My plans have been THWARTED!

Tags: school
Current Mood: horrified
Current Music: Shivaree - Looks That Kill

The dog and the cat keep playing a game which may or may not actually be sexual harassment. I think it's an "arrgh, I'm going to stand over you and nibble on your neck because I want you to play with me!" from the dog, and an "OMFG! No! GTFO you perv!" from the cat.

I've been having to wipe gobs of dog slobber off of Étoile's back. He usually likes that, I think it's because he thinks I'm cleaning him affectionately or something - he likes licking us, so evidently he thinks it's a nice gesture, and not just to claim us, or because we taste good.

It would be nice if they got along. There are some moments where it looks like they could, but those moments tend to end with me yelling, "Do not crush/bite/harass my cat!" or mother yelling, "Do not scratch my dog! Claws stay in!"

Bre-an, as it turns out, is persistent in the same way that Edward was brilliant. This means that where Edward would find new and interesting ways to get around any obstacles, Bre-an just keeps pushing through those obstacles until he overcomes them. This has caused problems because even when he gets hurt, he keeps on trying. He's watched the cat, and thereby determined how to get over the baby-gates, but there are some parts of the gates that he can get stuck on, painfully. I have had to extract him when he gets stuck, because he doesn't try to get unstuck, just to get all the way over.

It has also caused problems in house training. He seems to believe that he'll keep defecating wherever he wants, and eventually mother will stop scolding him for it. Edward appeared to feel shame when he had an accident. Bre-an has no accidents; he pees with intent.

Current Mood: morose

I am wearing my hair in odango right now, and it's still long enough to reach halfway down my back.

Well, my minor came through, so that's great.

Tags: school
Current Mood: relieved

On Sunday I spoke with F. I guess the key is communication, but I don't really feel better having expressed myself. Perhaps this is because I often get the impression of speaking to a brick wall. She says that she never asks questions because she's learned that I'll say something if I want to, and she knows how private I am, and doesn't want to pry. I think that's bullshit. I had to make her promise that she would show interest in my life, which I think is probably not something that someone should feel they need to request of their best friend. Whatever, it's not like I can pick and choose. She says I've always been there for her, but she knows that she's not always there for me. She said so many times that she knows that I don't trust her anymore, and she understands why, and she knows I'll never fully trust her again. Apparently she is happy with the status-quo, because she's never done anything to change that. The girl she used to be would have tried.

Mother and I took the dog to the vet today. He sat on my lap in the car, and squealed and squirmed for the whole ride – there and back. When we got there, mother registered his name: Bre-an. I was shocked. I had not been informed of this change. I generally do not approve of hyphens in first names. I should not have been surprised though, this is, after all, the woman who named her daughter Alandrea, but still. Still. At least she was happy that no-one mispronounced it.

Bre-an is 10.8 pounds, and perfectly healthy. We are going to get him a harness for the car, so that he can learn to ride around in it without freaking out. He and Étoile are still not exactly getting along, but not exactly... not getting along either. It's weird.

Current Music: Sara Bareilles - Fairytale

We brought home the dog today. We’re naming him Breon. He’s very sweet to everyone, but he’s obviously taken to mother and is going to be her dog. I keep comparing him to Edward. I keep crying.

Étoile was sleeping when we brought Breon home. Everything seemed to be better than we thought possible; when Étoile woke up, he came downstairs to eat, and walked right by the dog with no reaction other than a slight glance.

He ate, said hello to me, then walked by the dog again. Then, I saw the best silent big no since Italian Spiderman. I guess he was still half asleep the first time by, so he didn’t really notice the puppy. He’s spent the rest of the day getting slowly closer to Breon before scampering away. Luckily, Breon does not yet seem inclined to chase him. He doesn’t seem to like Breon yet, or rather, he doesn’t seem to know what to think of him. He seems to understand that he is not being usurped though, so that’s very good.

The dog’s kennel is right outside my door, and he won’t stop whining because he wants to be in my parents’ room. He stopped for a while when Étoile poked at him through the bars, but then mother yelled at Étoile because teasing the puppy really is not fair, and his claws are only clipped.

I hope they learn to get along. And I really hope he stops whining soon.

Current Mood: covered in tears and dog spit
Current Music: VAST - Channel Zero